Weddings - what could go wrong? Wonky Wedingss

 

What could go wrong with the wedding? I have been to several wonky weddings. What do you think went wrong?

As Murphy's law says, whatever can go wrong will do so. Who, what, when, where, why? First who?   

Missing Bride Groom & Guests - At Wrong Building

Sometimes you read a story about a bride or groom who didn't turn up, like the groom of Miss Haversham in Charles Dickens' novel. It sounds melodramatic, like a made up story. Miss Haversham was based on a real jilted bride in Australia. At weddings loads of things can go wrong. You can go to the wrong church. Have you ever travelled to the wrong building, at home or on holiday or away on business, or to a funeral or wedding?

Or the wrong hotel. We did that in Phoenix. I remember us arguing with the receptionist that we had a booking. Our written confirmation revealed the problem. There city had two Holiday Inns. 

What else can go wrong? Somebody else, somebody important, can get lost.

You can get married on a cruise ship. A ship is a big item. How can you lose something the size of a ship. I am short sighted. But that wasn't the problem. I once tried to board the wrong ship. My ship was third along a long quayside. But the ships had all moved along to make way for a newly arrived ship.

I was the witness for wedding on a cruise ship off America. The groom did not turn up. The bride and both sets of parents were waiting. The cruise ship went off. The bride not to be, her parents, and the groom's parents, they all sat together for every meal for three days, without a wedding or a groom. 

I was very upset. The purser was very nice. He said you can witness another wedding. We are always short of witnesses, and the staff here are tired of doing it. 

So I witnessed a wedding. She was wearing white. I asked, "Is this your first wedding."

"No," she said, "My second." 

where it was her second wedding and his fifth.

First of all the wedding should take place?

Easier said than done.

1. Before prposing, you need to book the wedding venue. As soon as you start going out, after the third date, book the wedding venue. If the guy doesn't propose, you can always marry somebody else. If you   you t well paid as a wedding officiant you have to give value for money
2. and talk for 45 minutes.have already got the weding hall booked, he will probably say yes, because you are a good person, well organized.

We culd not get the venue we wanted with the wedding receptions ahll behind the stage for the wedding, so the wedding was put off from june 2019 to june 2020. You know what happened in February 2020. The June wedidng was shifted to july. Then August. Finally September. 

My chife job was to stay home, not catch Covid 19, and not drop dead before the wedding. It would have been too complicated to attend a funeral and a wedding in the same week.

In February I had a nasty moment. The room swung around. I unded up on the floor. I went to the hospital. They tested everything, my ankles, my knees, my back, my pulse, my heart, my lungs, an x ray, rinally ear now and threoat. They siad it was my ears. My blance. I was unbalanced. 

I always thought I was unbalanced.

If I look like I am doing tai chi, its because I don't want to be unbalanced.

Te wedding ceremony takes 45 minutes, can you believe. I Toastmasters we are taught to give seven minutes speeches. If you want 

We had got to the point of the seven blessings. Why seven? When i sneeze, peple say bless you once. Seven, looks greedy to me.

Hindu couples circle a fire seven times. My Hindu tenants decided to light a fire in the lounge. The fire set fire to more than expected. They fanned the flames. They opened the dor and carried the flaming bowl out of their front door through the hallway.

They had forgotten about the fire alarm. It went off. and the blind man upstairs heard the alarm, opened his door, smelled the fire from their open door and galloped down the stairs, falling and nearly injuring himself.

The priest decides on seven blessings. 

We get to blessing number six, 

I am in a hall , the wedding guests are on chairs  that far apart, all wearing masks. It looks like we have married the Mafia.

The video shows me starting to sway.

All our elatives all over the world can se me starting to sway.They are all shouting but everybody at the weding is busy with the 7 blessings.

I am thinking, please don't let me drop dead, in the middle of the wedding. 

Why leave the signing til last. They should have signed the secular book first, had the blessings later.

When I get home I found the heel had come off the bottom of the stiletto. 

Another minor mishap I found my red gloves.

 The bride had left the wedding contract at the venue.