HOW TO BE FUNNY AND ADD HUMOUR

  What could go wrong with the wedding? I have been to several wonky weddings. What do you think went wrong? As Murphy's law says, whatever can go wrong will do so. Who, what, when, where, why? First who?    Missing Bride Groom & Guests - At Wrong Building Sometimes you read a story about a bride or groom who didn't turn up, like the groom of Miss Haversham in Charles Dickens' novel. It sounds melodramatic, like a made up story. Miss Haversham was based on a real jilted bride in Australia. At weddings loads of things can go wrong. You can go to the wrong church. Have you ever travelled to the wrong building, at home or on holiday or away on business, or to a funeral or wedding? Or the wrong hotel. We did that in Phoenix. I remember us arguing with the receptionist that we had a booking. Our written confirmation revealed the problem. There city had two Holiday Inns.  What else can go wrong? Somebody else, somebody important, can get lost. You can get married on a ...

Look for amusing menu items and write the record in your diary.  I think I was funnier in the old days than I am now. I was seraching for the dates of a relative who left me some photos, and my web search turned up links to articles which I wrote on humour. Humour You get offered some strange things to eat in Asia. 1 Frog porridge.  How do you make it stay in your cereal bowl?   I look at the porridge. It's like one of those games you get on the internet. Do you spot the frog's eyes. Don't tell. Just shout 'eureka'. 2 The shop is selling 'green crap'. I think they mean green crab. Here is a green crab. Photo in Wikipedia under green crab, photo by Hans Hillewaert.   Grab a green crab and you might end up with green crap. Photographs, humorous speeches and stand-up comedy from Angela Lansbury. See blog   http://www.blogger.com/  Angela Lansbury Travels & Speeches  and other websites http://angela-lansbury.com Biography Dotty Comedy  Angela...

 Keep a mental note of the funny things said by your family. Many people tell jokes about their chilrden or grandchildren. Sometimes a joke about grandchildren falls flat. Why?  1 You have made the story too long. You have added asides such as, she is not actually my niece but neighbour's grandmother's first cousin. Nobody can understand. Nobody cares. It is not part of the joke, It merely confuses. 2 The names are hard to understand.  They are trying to work out whether the person is your wife or mother or sister. Is the speaker the gardener or the cook? Two people have names starting with the same initial. Mary and Martha. Albert and Archie.  The city is confusing. Where is Maharashtra, and is it relevant? Is Poona the capital or the country. Is it known for clever people or rural idiots? Listners to the joke are confused who said what to whom.  When is the punchline? The audience members don't know when you have reached the punchline and are waiting for somet...

  When I attended a stand-up comedy course run by Amused Moose in London, I discovered that to get a spot at a top free mic (microphone spot) at a to comedy club, you had to privide evidence that you had already peformed on 50 occasions (albeit for free) at open mic events at pubs and other places. How many had I done? How many have I done now? How many have you done? If you haven't done any yet, as soon as you do, start making a list.  You need it for all sorts of purposes. To list only a few: To show the tax man that although you have been working for six months all the events were unpaid. To prove to the 'bank of mum and dad' that it is worthwhile giving you free board and lodging or a rent allowance. To motivate yourself and cheer yourself up. To get a clear idea of how often you can perform and what you would earn if you were paid each time. When I was writing travel articles I found that I was producing one article a month. That sounds very little. I would spend one w...

Pathways, props When you join Toastmasters International you are offered a choice of 11 paths. After filling out a multiple choice questionnaire you are offered suggestions of three paths, the one they think you will prefer, and a couple of alternatives. The paths are very similar and most are about management, conveying your wishes to teams or subordinates, or outside organizations or shreholders, or managing teams. That fits the remake of Toastmasters International into the motto, Where Leaders are Made.  The major differences are the basic Pathway, Presentation Mastery,  which is the most popular, whether you are afraid of public speaking or wish to improve presentations at work.  The other one which is different is Engaging Humor. (The spelling is American because Toastmasters International started in California, USA, and is still run from the USA.) I did Presentation Mastery first, then Humor.  When I reached the end of the course I thought that the R...

What are your everyday clothing disasters? At home, or on holiday? Mine include: In Little India. Which Little India? The world has lots. Singapore. Singapore flag. What could go wrong? An empty street in Little India. 1 My wrap around skirt, unwrapped in Little India. Singapore. The straps tangled and tied around my ankles. So I fell over. Twenty strange men rushed to help me. I wasn't sure which hands were pickpockets and which men had wandering hands. But half of them were helpfully pushing away the others. And shouting at the others to let go of me. A street in Little India after my skirt unwrapped. I was providing both a free striptease show and a free wrestling match. Two thousand other little boys and big men stopped to watch. They shouted instructions in assorted foreign languages. 2 My large brim hat which blew off in the taxi from the airport in Cambodia. The taxi was a motorcycle trishaw, open-sided, no protection against flyi...

Did JFK say Ich bin Ein Berliner, referring to himself as a donut. This is a Berliner. Pic from wiki article on the speech. How is your German? I just tried to credit a photographer with a German name for his photo. I linked back to his page but got a German message. It was clearly saying this page no longer exists. I looked at the words and tried to decipher them. At school I learned French and Latin and have never learned German although I completed the Duolingo German first course on my laptop and mobile phone. The course is free. Today I could easily recognize these words: German - English Du - you (Like tu in French. If it helps, think f the phrase Do you? Du is German for you.) existiert - exist und - and wenn - when I used Google translate but you are likely to end up with unintended humour. You probably know this joke about English being converted to German in the EU. English to become official language of the EU The European Commission has ...